The human being has by its nature the tendency to structure solid emotional bonds .

According to the psychologist John Bowlby , who developed the theory of attachment , a milestone in the history of psychology, human beings are biologically predisposed to develop intimate relationships from very early childhood: the newborn, in fact, establishes a preferential relationship with the figure. care, follows her, is comforted by her closeness, looks for her in moments of stress.

For the baby, being “attached” to the mother means trying to keep “close enough” to her, using her as a secure base.from which you can move away to explore the environment with confidence and to which you can turn when it encounters an obstacle.

The mother’s willingness to provide a secure base is influenced by her ability to recognize and respect both the child ‘s desire for attachment and her desire to explore the environment and to relate to other children and adults.

The special relationship that develops between mother and child provides the child with that sense of security that comes from the presence of an adult who takes care of him , who is able to perceive and understand her needs and to provide adequate responses.

And it is precisely the feeling of well-being that emerges fromrepetitive experiences of positive interaction with the mother , from which the child receives attention and care, which creates what Bowlby calls a secure base.

Attachment styles

Each child establishes a specific attachment relationship based on the availability of the mother: if the mother represents a secure basis for the child, then the attachment model that will be established will be safe, if this does not happen, an insecure attachment model will be created.

Thus , different attachment models can be created , which on the basis of studies and structured observations, have been divided into four categories:
Safe
attachment Insecure / avoidant
attachment Insecure / ambivalent
attachment Disorganized / disoriented attachment

As can be easily understood, of the four categories, only the first, that of secure attachment, is functional to an optimal development of the child.
This model is structured when, in the first year of life, the child has experienced safety, as the mother has shown herself to be responsive, intervening adequately when the child was in need. This allows the child to grow and face the world optimally.  

If, on the other hand, the child experiences rejections, with respect to his needs and requests for help, he must somehow autonomously resolve his difficulties, without counting on external support. The child thus ends up “deactivating” the attachment system, hyper-activating the exploration system.

This creates what is called insecure-avoidant attachment : the child does not frequently relate to the mother, concentrates on the environment and explores it autonomously, without turning to the mother in case of discomfort.

Conversely, the child with insecure-ambivalent attachment cannot calmly explore the environment and cannot even use the mother as a secure base. He exhibits ambivalent behaviors: he seeks contact with his mother, but then rejects it, clings to his mother, but expresses anger and agitation.

This attachment model is defined when the child experiences an incoherent mother: sometimes refusing to meet needs, sometimes intrusive. The child, therefore, not knowing from time to time what reaction the mother will have, constantly watches over her, excessively activating the attachment system compared to the exploration one.  Finally, disorganized-disoriented

attachment is characterized by interrupted behaviors, stereotypes, abnormal postures, immobility, up to behaviors of fear or concern towards the parent. This attachment pattern is linked to unresolved grief and traumain the story of the parent which is then expressed in interactions with the child through expressions of fear that are frightening for the child.

This creates an unsolvable conflict in the child between the tendency to turn to the parent as a source of reassurance in the face of a frightening stimulus and the fact that it is the parent himself who arouses fear: the tendency to approach and to move away inhibits each other. other by overwhelming the child’s ability to organize consistent behavior.

Attachment for future relationships

Attachment patterns not only regulate interactions with the mother, but are then re-proposed in other relationships as well, as they are internalized and become a guide for future relationships .     

If a child has developed an attachment pattern based on a secure bond , he will have a representation based on a loving and attentive figure, trustworthy and a representation of himself as worthy of affection.

If he instead has established an avoidant attachment , he will tend not to evaluate himself as worthy of listening; in case of ambivalent attachment , he will have contradictory perceptions about himself.  

It is therefore essential for the optimal development of the child to establish a secure attachment . This attachment model is created when the child learns that what he feels internally can be understood and respected and that the mother is able to provide him with the appropriate answers.
In summary , the child feels felt .  

Some Australian flowers  can be eaten by the mother throughout the baby’s first year of life to promote healthy attachment.  
Bottlebrush        is the flower that promotes and strengthens the mother-child bond.
Green Spider        Orchid is very useful to mothers, both during pregnancy and in the neonatal period and in the first months of the baby’s life. This essence favors that communication that goes beyond words, therefore it helps the mother to understand more easily the needs of her baby, thus allowing her to respond adequately.  

In addition to these two flower remedies, another Australian flower can also be particularly useful for the child.
In the book “Mistakes not to be repeated”, the child psychiatrist Daniel Siegel explains how the dysfunctional patterns of attachment of the parents can then repeat themselves and negatively affect their children. “Each generation is influenced by the previous ones and influences the following ones,” writes Siegel. For this reason, the Boab flower remedy helps both parents and children to get rid of the dysfunctional patterns resulting from their family heritage.

The essence favors in the parent the recognition of these non-useful “inheritances”, those negative attitudes that are repeated, as learned from their parents, and repeated more or less consciously, but which in fact are not functional to create a good bond of attachment.  

Creating a good attachment is fundamental for the development of the child, but also for adult life, because as Bowlby states “even if particularly evident in early childhood, attachment behavior characterizes the human being from cradle to grave.”